Writer’s Workshop: Married with Children vs. ME

I’ve been slacking lately with Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshops… but this week’s prompt has been something I’ve been thinking about lately so it was perfect timing!

Mama's Losin' It

My chosen prompt: A list of things you no longer have in common with your married/child bearing friends… and why you love them anyway.

Of the friends I am still in close contact with from high school and tend to see more than others… I am the only single one.

Not just “single” like everyone else has a boyfriend/girlfriend… but that they are all either married or will be very soon, and two of the couples have kids.

(My friends from Western are slowly catching up… a few here and there are married or engaged, but no kids yet except the ones that were married when I met them.)

95% of the time I am just fine with that. But this post isn’t about that 95% of the time, or even the other 5% of the time…


Things I No Longer Have in Common with My Married/Child-Bearing Friends…

1. Someone depends on them. Whether they are married, or married with a kid or two, someone expects them to be home at a certain time, that they perform their part of the household responsibilities, that they contribute to the betterment of the life that they have together.

I can relate… I have Taylor and Louie the Terror Kitty. I know they’re not really children, but they are as close as I am going to get for awhile. They pick on each other, depend on me for food (which is often more prepared than what I make for myself) and entertainment, and if I’m going to be away for awhile I have to arrange “critter-sitting” with my parents. Louie also has a tendency to get really crazy before bed time, like kids tend to do when they don’t want to fall asleep. Unfortunately I haven’t been able to get either one of them to fold laundry or vacuum… but Taylor does like to “help” clean out Louie’s litter box on occasion.

2. They have partners and forever-roommates. They have to agree on things, make decisions together, be aware and supportive of someone else’s wants and needs.

I do what I want, figure things out on my own (mostly), leave projects unfinished in the living room when they frustrate me.

3. They have dinner on a regular basis. Any probably even breakfast and lunch… which means they grocery shop, too!

I don’t. I forget, am too lazy, don’t have time, get distracted doing something else (or by something shiny), etc.

4. They don’t get asked about their love lives. Or maybe they do, and I’m just not there when someone asks them how their marriage is going.

Whereas I am asked ALL THE TIME. Really I don’t mind much… it’s usually by people who care and want to see me happy. I just  feel like I am going to have to come up with something more interesting to explain my lack of love life than “can’t meet anyone at work, I don’t do bar scenes, all my friends are married with no other single friends…”

I love them all anyway…

My friends have great taste and have married wonderful people… which means I get to hang out with and get to know people I wouldn’t have known otherwise.

They are raising amazing children that I love being around.

We still have the important things in common (sometimes even more now than before they were married or had kids)… and I know that when it is my turn to get married and have kids I’ll have LOTS of people to turn to when I have questions, issues, etc.


6 responses to “Writer’s Workshop: Married with Children vs. ME

  1. I can sort of relate. I do live with my boyfriend, but we’re not engaged, or married, or have children, and we don’t have immediate plans to have any of that yet. We always get little hints of moving to that stage… to make other people happy? Or at least that’s what it seems like to me. lol I do find that my single friend and I don’t have nearly as much in common anymore because I’m not nearly as interested in getting dressed up and going guy hunting anymore and she isn’t interested in just relaxing at home after a long danged day! So I can relate, and I understand. lol

    • I think that part of my problem is that I’ve never been into “guy hunting.” I don’t go out a ton, but when I do it is usually with a bunch of my girl friends and it’s to hang out together–not to pick up guys! I think that is why I’ve been able to “adjust” so well to having married friends, some with kids: I’m totally cool with hanging out at home, watching the antics of the kids, relaxing in good company, etc.

      Thanks for visiting! :)

  2. A) I love your frequent blog postings. I admit to being a blog junkie and I very much appreciate that.
    B) Why do people ask about single people’s love life? I think there should be certain qualifications before you can ask that, like being related or having best-friend status. I remember getting asked that when I was single, and the answer was never fun. Either I just went on a traumatizing blind date or I hadn’t had a date in 6 months. I shouldn’t have to broadcast that.
    C) I so wish we were both in the same place when we were both single. I would have dragged you to the Singles Ward (church). Everyone in the ward was 18-30, single, and looking. And we had all kinds of cheesy fun activities every week. Better yet, you should just be Mormon:)
    D)I still get distracted from grocery shopping by shiney things.

    • I’m not sure if the Mormon community would be super welcoming if my primary reason for converting was to find a husband in the Singles Ward… but it would have been TONS of fun to tag along with you! (I still have fond memories of going to the Mormon League basketball games and hearing about your volleyball games!)

  3. They ask you how your love life is because they are desperate to live vicariously through single people. Because married people are boring

    • Haha I’ll have to make a point of being more exciting so it will be worth asking ;) (And I don’t think you’re boring, Lizzy!)

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