oh the irony… or something

I don’t get real personal too often on this lil’ blog o’ mine. I like to stick to pretty pictures, projects, and fun times with friends.

But then there’s times that things happen… and I just have to share. I shake my head at the ways of the world, and laugh. What else is there to do? I would much rather have my face etched with laugh lines than with scowl creases. There’s still tears, but those wash away.

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My initial reaction to stressful/crazy events is to laugh. Like when my power steering went out two weeks ago. I laughed. It’s not really a humor-filled laugh, full of joy… it’s more of a dry laugh like “you’ve got to be kidding me.” (And then my headlight went out, too. Of course. But I know how to change those!)

Or I smile a “bring it on”-smile. Those are my favorite. Because I know I can do anything… even if others don’t think so. I am determined, resourceful, and sometimes stubborn.

Then there’s times that it’s too much to laugh right away… the tears come first. A few forced smiles, maybe, but mostly tears. Like when a new relationship ended and my hopes for what might be, someday, went out the window. Losing hope hurts.

Thankfully I’m an optimist and I am able to look on the upside, like seeing the love my friends have for me (plus a bottle of wine and apologies for not having brownies). Then I am overcome with emotion and more tears–this time not for a loss of hope, but rather with an overwhelming sense of gratitude and thankfulness that I am so lucky and blessed to have such amazing friends. I might be single–but I am not alone.

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The real kicker was the next morning after the relationship-ending-event.

I was heading out, determined to have a good day. My car was sounding funny so I pulled into a parking lot at the end of my road to check things out.

Flat tire. Fantastic.

I did what any normal person would do. I stomped my feet, shook my fists in the air, and muttered “you’ve got to be kidding me” under my breath… and laughed.

Some guy walked by and let me know I had a flat tire (really?!)–I smiled and thanked him. I was considering trying to change it to my spare tire… but those lug nuts are so tight. I considered AAA. Then the dude pointed out that Les Schwab was just around the corner so I could drive there (slowly). Good idea.

I made it to Les Schwab–emergency lights on, going slowly, but it still sounded awful.

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I forgot my favorite thing about this Les Schwab. The boys. The muscles. The hotness. Yes, not a bad place to be after a relationship-ending-event. They even have popcorn and Paula Dean on TV, talking about butter and bacon grease.* Perfection.

That is, until the cute-muscle-boy came out to tell me that since I drove on the flat it ruined the tire beyond repair–and since it is AWD, I have to replace all the tires at once and the cheapest set at $700 wouldn’t be in until the next day.

What did I do? Oh yes. I cried.

Ugh, I was THAT girl. I don’t do that! Since when do I cry in public?! I blame the hormones, my goodness. I wish there was a switch or a button I could push to turn off my girl-ness. If only it were that easy… I tried to tell him that it wasn’t just the tires and the cost that caused the tears, that I had a rough couple of days. Not sure if I was coherent enough at that point for him to understand.

Thankfully the cute-muscle-boy was super sweet (only making him cuter, of course). First he offered to just replace the one tire, but I’d have to sign a waiver since it isn’t safe. I opted to not go that route and instead go for the set of tires they had in stock, since I was there and didn’t want to come back the next day.

When it was all finished, the cute-muscle-boy was able to get the bill down a bit for me and then showed me how to take the spare tire off the back of my car… and not at all in a patronizing way, just helpful. It was refreshing. I wanted to hug him. I settled for thanking him profusely and shaking his hand. (He was watching me like I might burst into tears again.)

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And before I knew it… I had hope again. I like to think it was God’s little way of showing me that there’s more fish in the sea… ones that are sweet and want to do whatever they can to make the tears go away and your day a bit brighter. And, not that I ever forget, but a great reminder of how lucky I am to have so many people in my life that love and support me. (Love you guys!)

*I am not a Paula Dean fan. That she said “butter and bacon grease” while making a grapefruit cake (I think) is just wrong. And gross.

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10 responses to “oh the irony… or something

  1. While reading your post, I can picture the tears that have come from my own eyes over the past few weeks, and like you, it is like it happens all the sudden and there is no “off” switch. It’s as if your coping mechanisms are great until ONE last thing tips you over the edge. The thing that tipped me over the edge this week, sitting it cat pee on my couch cushion. I erupted into tears, told my husband (of less than 2 months) that I “couldn’t handle life anymore” as I was stomping up the stairs to change my pee stained pants. Life throws you curve balls ALL the time, and sometimes you just have to cry and be ridiculous. I can relate.

    I enjoyed reading this and keep your head up. :)

    • Seriously, THANK YOU for your comment. Sometimes I just need to know that others can relate, that I’m not the only one to break down like that. I know that if I sat in cat pee lately I would bawl my eyes out, too. I hope things are looking up for you!

  2. you have the courage to be honest and vulnerable. you are one of the most strong, smart, and amazing people I know. if you want i can could stick a nail in one of your tires so you could go back to muscle boy? i like the above comment as well….life has to be hard to enjoy the easy happy times…i heart you!!!

    • Thanks, Nat!! You just about made me tear up again… but in a completely good way. I love knowing that I have great friends like you that are willing to puncture my tires just so I can have a valid reason to visit Les Schwab! ;)

  3. This post made me miss you and wish I lived closer. Not that I could have fixed any of your mishaps, but at least I could commiserate with you in person:)

    • I wish you lived closer, too!! I miss you! But hopefully next time I see you we won’t have need to commiserate–only celebrate your new little one!

  4. Nat – I asked if the guy had a ring on his finger, he didn’t! I like the idea of poking another hole in her tire so she can go back ;-)

    Love you girlfriend. You are amazing. XO

    • Haha sooo many people have asked if he had a ring after I tell them about what happened! If I was more clear headed at the time I should have offered to buy him coffee or something…

  5. Well if you can’t find an excuse to go to Les Schwab again, you will always be my lobster! xoxo

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