I don’t get real personal too often on this lil’ blog o’ mine. I like to stick to pretty pictures, projects, and fun times with friends.
But then there’s times that things happen… and I just have to share. I shake my head at the ways of the world, and laugh. What else is there to do? I would much rather have my face etched with laugh lines than with scowl creases. There’s still tears, but those wash away.
My initial reaction to stressful/crazy events is to laugh. Like when my power steering went out two weeks ago. I laughed. It’s not really a humor-filled laugh, full of joy… it’s more of a dry laugh like “you’ve got to be kidding me.” (And then my headlight went out, too. Of course. But I know how to change those!)
Or I smile a “bring it on”-smile. Those are my favorite. Because I know I can do anything… even if others don’t think so. I am determined, resourceful, and sometimes stubborn.
Then there’s times that it’s too much to laugh right away… the tears come first. A few forced smiles, maybe, but mostly tears. Like when a new relationship ended and my hopes for what might be, someday, went out the window. Losing hope hurts.
Thankfully I’m an optimist and I am able to look on the upside, like seeing the love my friends have for me (plus a bottle of wine and apologies for not having brownies). Then I am overcome with emotion and more tears–this time not for a loss of hope, but rather with an overwhelming sense of gratitude and thankfulness that I am so lucky and blessed to have such amazing friends. I might be single–but I am not alone.
The real kicker was the next morning after the relationship-ending-event.
I was heading out, determined to have a good day. My car was sounding funny so I pulled into a parking lot at the end of my road to check things out.
Flat tire. Fantastic.
I did what any normal person would do. I stomped my feet, shook my fists in the air, and muttered “you’ve got to be kidding me” under my breath… and laughed.
Some guy walked by and let me know I had a flat tire (really?!)–I smiled and thanked him. I was considering trying to change it to my spare tire… but those lug nuts are so tight. I considered AAA. Then the dude pointed out that Les Schwab was just around the corner so I could drive there (slowly). Good idea.
I made it to Les Schwab–emergency lights on, going slowly, but it still sounded awful.
I forgot my favorite thing about this Les Schwab. The boys. The muscles. The hotness. Yes, not a bad place to be after a relationship-ending-event. They even have popcorn and Paula Dean on TV, talking about butter and bacon grease.* Perfection.
That is, until the cute-muscle-boy came out to tell me that since I drove on the flat it ruined the tire beyond repair–and since it is AWD, I have to replace all the tires at once and the cheapest set at $700 wouldn’t be in until the next day.
What did I do? Oh yes. I cried.
Ugh, I was THAT girl. I don’t do that! Since when do I cry in public?! I blame the hormones, my goodness. I wish there was a switch or a button I could push to turn off my girl-ness. If only it were that easy… I tried to tell him that it wasn’t just the tires and the cost that caused the tears, that I had a rough couple of days. Not sure if I was coherent enough at that point for him to understand.
Thankfully the cute-muscle-boy was super sweet (only making him cuter, of course). First he offered to just replace the one tire, but I’d have to sign a waiver since it isn’t safe. I opted to not go that route and instead go for the set of tires they had in stock, since I was there and didn’t want to come back the next day.
When it was all finished, the cute-muscle-boy was able to get the bill down a bit for me and then showed me how to take the spare tire off the back of my car… and not at all in a patronizing way, just helpful. It was refreshing. I wanted to hug him. I settled for thanking him profusely and shaking his hand. (He was watching me like I might burst into tears again.)
And before I knew it… I had hope again. I like to think it was God’s little way of showing me that there’s more fish in the sea… ones that are sweet and want to do whatever they can to make the tears go away and your day a bit brighter. And, not that I ever forget, but a great reminder of how lucky I am to have so many people in my life that love and support me. (Love you guys!)
*I am not a Paula Dean fan. That she said “butter and bacon grease” while making a grapefruit cake (I think) is just wrong. And gross.