on dating

I found this old draft post recently… I’m not sure exactly when I started writing it, but figured anything with a Harold and Maude quote was worthy of revamping and sharing.

Online dating is an interesting thing.

You have to condense who you are to fit on a computer screen, but do it in a way that is approachable, appealing, and honest (with yourself and your intended audience).

How much you focus on each depends on what you’re looking for, of course. If you don’t care if a match goes beyond a first date then you might be ok with lying all over the place.

Then there’s reading/deciphering the profiles of your potential matches… some were easy for me to say “no” to (like the ones that have a photo showcasing their foot-long rat tail as their primary profile picture… or a photo of their 6 cats).

I watched Harold and Maude recently and I found this exchange between Harold’s mom (Mrs. Chasen) and Harold super amusing–and thankful that the “Computer Dating Service” has come a long way…

Mrs. Chasen: I have here, Harold, the forms sent out by the National Computer Dating Service. It seems to me that as you do not get along with the daughters of my friends, this is the best way for you to find a prospective wife.
[Harold starts to interrupt]
Mrs. Chasen: Please, Harold, we have a lot to do and I have to be at the hairdresser’s at three.
[she looks over the papers]
Mrs. Chasen: The Computer Dating Service offers you at least three dates on the initial investment. They screen out the fat and ugly, so it is obviously a firm of high standards.

It’s no secret that John and I met online. Through eHarmony, to be exact. He initiated the contact because I listed photography as one of my interests. Our profiles matched us on just the tip of the iceberg of who we are and we got lucky that we are a match well beyond what we could ever fit onto a computer screen. Sometimes I think about the many things we have in common or the way we “fit”–how would I ever put that in an online dating profile without sounding crazy?

“You must tolerate and participate in my silly moods, laugh with me, chase my cat when he escapes outside, take my dog on walks, cook dinner so I don’t have to worry about it when I get home from work, go antiquing with me, go on photo adventures, mow my lawn because it’s the one chore I really dread, hang out with my family, help keep an eye on my nephew, drive to see me, love sushi…”

#sneakapic while waiting for our #photobooth pics in #porttownsend #love #pnw

It sounds pretty demanding, and so much that I would have never thought to hope for in a partner.

Also, if you’ve never seen Harold and Maude, please do. It’s a quirky movie for sure, but awesome all the same.