on dating

I started writing this over three years ago, and it’s just been sitting in my Drafts… so I figured I should finish it and share. Mostly because it has a Harold and Maude quote in it.

Online dating is an interesting thing.

You have to condense who you are to fit on a computer screen, but do it in a way that is approachable, appealing, and honest (with yourself and your intended audience).

How much you focus on each depends on what you’re looking for, of course. If you don’t care if a match goes beyond a first date then you might be OK with telling lies left and right.

Then there’s reading/deciphering the profiles of your potential matches… some were easy for me to say “no” to (like the ones that have a photo showcasing their foot-long rat tail as their primary profile picture or a photo of their SIX cats).

What they highlight in their profile told me what they prioritized… or what they wanted to be, whether or not that is what they intended.

They go to the gym all the time? I interpreted that to mean that a svelte physique for themselves and possibly their partner was important to them, which isn’t a bad thing, but not me. They talk about past girlfriends? They’re not over them… and maybe a bit bitter.

I was over the online dating thing and was waiting for my subscription period to end… and that’s when I met John. It took awhile, a lot of weird profiles, some OK dates and some less than OK dates, but in the end it was worth it.

SJ_0078

Thankfully online dating, with all of its imperfections, has come a long way since this…

Mrs. Chasen: I have here, Harold, the forms sent out by the National Computer Dating Service. It seems to me that as you do not get along with the daughters of my friends, this is the best way for you to find a prospective wife.
[Harold starts to interrupt]
Mrs. Chasen: Please, Harold, we have a lot to do and I have to be at the hairdresser’s at three.
[she looks over the papers]
Mrs. Chasen: The Computer Dating Service offers you at least three dates on the initial investment. They screen out the fat and ugly, so it is obviously a firm of high standards.

I love the movie Harold and Maude… if you haven’t seen it, please do.

Would I willingly enter the online dating world again? Heck no. But if it was the only way to be where I am today, with my love, engaged and ready to start the rest of our lives together… then sign me up!

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